I thought my first born was the naughtiest little guy I had ever seen…then I had my daughter and God winked and said “haha..gotcha there didn’t I ?”..Magee’s terrible twos lasted a whole of 3 days..his sister is going on 15 and I fear she is still going through them. His first day his Elmo met his demise.. I started the day like every other day feeding kids, laundry and picking up the house..about 10:00 AM I grabbed Pinker and threw her in her high chair for a snack. She had shoulder length beautiful bouncy curls and she was about 2 years old.. she had a white furry sweatshirt on. I noticed she had some hair on her sweatshirt, but chalked it up that she was loving on her kitty..I snapped the high chair in place and ran my fingers through her curls as I had always done. But this time a handful of curls came off in my 🤚 hand.. I stopped and looked at her head. I ran my fingers through her hair…FRANTIC..All the hair in her back came off in my hands..butched to her scalp..I shrieked. “What in the SAM hell happened?”.. I thought I was going to cry..Magee comes strolling by to see what the commotion was about. He smiled at Pinker, “oh don’t she look cute?”..I stared at him and said, “her curls, they are all gone!”.. he said, “yea, I know, I cut it off”. I blinked a few “WTF” thoughts. I stammered, “YOU did this? YOU cut her hair?”…he was still pretty damn proud of his work…until he looked up at me and saw my face.. “don’t you like it Mom?”, he whimpered.. Tears formed in my eyes, she looked like a boy..in a cute fluffy white sweatshirt.. every curl gone.. he got a kick in the pants and was sent to his room…I took Pinker out and cleaned her up and finished the hack job her brother had started.. Magee hung out in his room for awhile until I started to feel guilty.. I went in and talked to him about what he had done. We both agreed probably not the best choice he could have done.away he went to play..I went back to my laundry..I went into my room to put some clothes away. My cat caught my eye as she was under my table, her tail flicking like a mad woman.. I put the clothes away and went to check her out.. as I bent down I noticed a pissy look on her face. I pet her and she got up..when she got up I figured out her pissed offness..the hair on the whole side of her ass was cut off short. So she had one side long and another super short. I knew where this came from.. “Magee”, I hollered..he came into my room, I looked at him, “did you do this?”. He looked down, “yes”. Another kick in the pants and sent to his room. I calmed my cat down and talked her off the ledge..after awhile I started to feel bad again. I went into his room.. I had him crawl up on the lap and I had a visit with him. I was patting him on the leg explaining life when I noticed a hole in his jeans.. I stopped short..”What the hell happened to your jeans?”. He hung his head.. I took a deep breathe, “oh you did not.. you did not cut a hole in your pants!”.. he just hung his head..another kick in the pants and a stay in your room..I was ready to have a meltdown, throw in my momma card..stick a fork in me.. I was done..I went outside to clear my head and cool off. Again guilt fed into my veins and I went into his room to visit with him. We went over good choices and bad..blah blah..he had curled up on my lap and was snuggled up with me..I grabbed my momma card back fiercely..I had won..until..I looked down at the floor and there was Elmo..laying on his back..hands spread.. with a hole cut in his belly…. “Magee” I whispered in my calmest voice I could muster.. “did you cut a hole in Elmo’s belly?”.. He said, “yeah”..I took a very long breathe and exhaled slowly.. “alrighty then, is that it? Is there anything else you cut?”.. he thought for a minute and I cringed.. “nope”, he said, “that is all”.. 😌 relieved I said, “well then let’s go grab Pinker and go play outside shall we?”.. and away we went..later that night I told The Stauff of my showdown.. He said, “well I guess if it were me I would have taken the ✂️ scissors away the first time”.. I rolled my neck, cleared my throat and said, “yep, you are right, he walked around the house all day with those sum bitches just showing them off and yea, probably should have taken then away huh.. thinking about I should have..IF I KNEW WHERE THE SUM BITCHES WERE”… and the day ended..only to begin day two of his terrible two’s…and Pinker’s beautiful long curls..never came back..her hair has been stick straight ever since..