Jacque La Chat..Or Jake the cat

Jake has had lots of names.. he arrived on the scene here as ‘Dizzy’, then turned to ‘black balls’..for.. um..simple reasoning.. then came ‘Jake’, Then our friend from France came here, who connected with this cat like a long lost sibling, and it went to ‘Jacque La Chat’.. and trust me it is not pronounced the way you would think..so we stay with Jake.. I have been working at home on the ranch this week. Every morning a pretty little bird flies around the picture window as if he wanted in.. I would watch him and he would always settle for the hand railing next to the picture window. It would cock his head a hundred ways looking in the window, as if he was wanting to chat..it made me smile and happy to watch it. The kids would walk by and say “what a crazy bird”. I would laugh, “right?”..his hair stood straight upon the top of his head and he had pretty colors of cream all down his chest..anyway.. he visited me every am and sat on the railing checking out ‘the inside’. Fast forward to this am.. we had a bunch of rain last night and the air was nice and cool this am.. Sydney wanted out so I flung the sliding glass door open and left it open to get a little fresh air in. I was working away when I heard the blinds behind me shuffle around. I glanced back and didn’t see anything. It went back to peace and quiet with a few birds singing outside. I sat there for a few mins and pondered what I heard. I hollered for Sydney and she came walking by, looking like she just awoke and giving me her half dog smile. I got up and looked down at the blinds.. Jake had a 🐦 bird. “Jake!! You son of a bitch, drop it”. Sydney got interested with my raised voice, so she comes over and pokes her nose into it..Jake lets out his “rrrrrrrrrr”.. I said, “Jake, you are such an asshole..drop it”. Then Sydney figured out what was going on and then the race was on. Jake whipped his prize to the left as Sydney dove to the right, then to the right as Sydney dove to the left. This went on back and forth with me in the middle playing referee. I finally got them separated and Jake was in a corner still doing his, “rrrrrrrrrr”. I bend down to grab Jake and the bird to take them both outside. I looked at the poor bird, it was the same bird that had been stopping by every morning.. I laid into Jake again..”you son of a bitch, if you killed him you are kicked out”. I picked up Jake by his belly and ‘walked’ them outside. Sydney right on my heels. I went over to the edge of the deck and grabbed Jake by the scruff of his neck.. “let go you little bastard”, then by some grace he let go and the bird flew away..seemingly unscathed by the wanna be killer. Jake was all puffed up and ran under the deck chair on cue, maybe knowing an ass kicking was coming. Sydney was still looking around trying to figure out what had just happened.. my bird hasn’t been back since.. fricking Jacque La Chat..what an asshole..lol..

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