In honor of Mothers Day..a reflection of the terrible twos..

Mothers Day is a day for Mothers to reflect on their kids, the good, the bad and the ugly..As a new Mom I had always heard of the term, ‘that kid is going through their terrible twos’.. but I had no idea what I was in for with my first one. Jay was just walking/crawling when the wonderful two found its way into the house. We had my cat, Azreal, whom Wyatt loved and the love was mutual, although she put up with a lot from that kid. One day I heard sweet giggles and running through the house. I poked my nose out of the kitchen with a smile to see what he was doing. He had found the black dirt in my plants. He would grab handfuls and chase after the cat throwing black dirt at her.. My eyes about fell out of my head.. so I cussed him, sent him to his room and started to pick up all the dirt.. I relented after awhile and let him out..I went back to tending to Supper..pretty soon, I hear the Same situation. I stomp after him..he wasn’t throwing back dirt this time, he was throwing bird seed throughout the house. I cussed him again and sent him to his room.. as I walked into his room I saw that the scene of the crime had started in his room. There was bird seed on everything, dresser, bed, window seal, and a fine layer all over the carpet.. I shrunk a little.. but he has pretty proud of himself..later I was downstairs grabbing some stuff. I was walking towards the stairway when I see Azreal flying down the stairs like a jet plane. I looked up the stairs and here is Wyatt, back arched and a line of pee chasing my cat down the stairs. I secretly gave him kudos for figuring out the arch and span of the the stream. He giggled and laughed and ran away.. we ended the night with me wondering if I was mentally wired for kids..I told The Stauff of my day and he just laughed. “He is just a little kid”,  he said..I thought yea little kid my ass, you didn’t have to clean up a sack full of bird seed, black dirt and piss all down the stairs either bucko. I went to bed that night hopeful for a better tomorrow. The day started like any other, laundry and feeding kids. About 10:00 jay was looking for some snacks. I picked her up and put her in her high chair..to back up a little to get the full jest of where this story is going..when Jay was a baby she had the prettiest curls..little blonde ringlets. I would always wrap my fingers through them…as I put her in her high chair I noticed she had some hair on her white furry sweatshirt.. I thought to myself, she must have been curled up with the cat. I smiled at her and ran my fingers through her ringlets. Much to my surprise, a few of them came off in my hand. I stopped and turned and looked at her smiling face.. I ran my hands all over her head..hair fell to the ground..a lot.. I shrieked.. WTF happened.. I was frantic..like I was thinking of a way to put it all back.. in my absolute freaking out here comes my two year old.. I looked at him and cried, “what the hell happened to Jay??”. He smiled at me, “awe Jay, don’t she look pretty, I like her hair like that”. I stared at him, “YOU did this?”. “Yea”, he said, “I think she looks pretty”. “Pretty?”, I continued to cry, “she has no hair left. It is all gone.. all her curls are gone. I can’t believe you did this..to YOUR ROOM!”. He shrunk to his room as I sat and stared at Jay who was happy as peacock eating away..about an hour later I felt bad..I go into his room and we had a heart to โค๏ธ heart about how he shouldn’t cut Jay’s hair again..away he went to play..I went to finish laundry. I had some clothes to put away in my closet. I went strolling through my room and noticed my cat underneath my night stand. Her tail was flipping a hundred miles an hour..she was ๐Ÿ˜ก pissed.. I crept down for a closer look at her and all of the hair was cut off her ass. My pretty kitty had no hair from her back legs, half way around her waist and her ass.. I winced and hollered, “Wyatt Anthony!!” He came running in, “what?”. “Did you do THIS?”, I said. He said, “yea”. I looked at him and said, “to your room…NOW!”, with a swift kick to his pants..I went to pet my poor kitty and talked her off the ledge of beating the shit out of Wyatt.. about another hour goes by and I relented and went to get him out of jail. We had another visit about how we just don’t do shit like that..he was released..back to laundry..I have laundry to put away in the kids room. I go walking in to their room and notice that there is their red talking Elmo on the floor..hands spread apart and a hole cut into his belly..I was instantly ๐Ÿ˜ค pissed…again I holler, “Wyatt Anthony! Get in her NOW!”. He came a little slower this time.. he walked into their room with his head hanging..I just pointed to poor Elmo, “are YOU SHITTING ME?”. He trembled a little and so did I. Another swift kick to his pants and his door slammed shut. I grabbed Jay and went outside to breathe fresh air and calm down.. I collected myself and went back inside to check on Wyatt. I opened his door and he was laying in his bed. I walked over to him and pulled him up onto my lap.. I gave him a hug and said “well, it has turned out to be a really shitty day, huh. I can’t believe what you all did”. He agreed slowly shaking his head. I was patting his knee as I was talking to him, when my fingers ran across something on his ๐Ÿ‘– jeans.. I looked down and saw he had cut a hole in his jeans. I took a deep breathe and asked him, “did you cut that hole in your jeans?”. He whimpered a weak, “yea”. I closed my eyes and gave him a hug.. “Wyatt” I asked, “is there anything else I could possibly find yet today that you cut?”. I held my breathe.. he said, “no, that was it”. “Well then” I said, “then I would say we have successfully ended the day. Why don’t you jump down and we will figure out something for Dad for supper!”. And we did.. later on when The Stauff got home, I was telling him of my day. He just looked at me and said, “well, I guess I would have taken away the scissors โœ‚๏ธ the first time”. I felt this burning desire to give him a swift kick in the pants..But the sun came up and his terrible twos were over..for real… Two long days, that I will never forget..but you are probably asking yourself, “what about Jay’s terrible twos?”. It is 12 years past her terrible twos and I whole heartedly believe she is still going through them.. ๐Ÿ™„..oh and she never had one curl come back.. stick straight hair for the past 14 years.. lol..๐Ÿ˜œ

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s