A shitty day in a nutshell

Last night coming home I reflected on how many shitty turns the day had gifted me with. I pull up to the mailbox blankly and rolled my window down. I glanced up to the sky to see heaven itself a touch closer as the coolness of the night rushed over me.. “ahh” I thought, the fresh air feels good. I back up and continue my trek home with the window down. I turned up the XM radio a bit blasting the best of the 80’s and rested my elbow on the window seal. About home I see a bird fly up over the hood.. “Aw boy, you just made it fella” I whispered to myself. About that time I felt something warm that then turned cold on my elbow. I think to myself. “WTF is that?” I touch it… sure enough. That bird shit on my elbow as it was getting some height to fly away.. I sat there.. with slick bird shit now smeared on my hands, my tshirt and now the seal of the window.. no napkin handy, I wipe the birdshit on the bottom of my jeans..I laughed as I pulled up to the house.. what are the odds. A clear definition of a shitty day..

BUT.. then… I got busy letting my hound out to bark and carry on, brought in all the groceries, putting things away, etc. Everything set, I say, “I am going to bed, screw it”. I wander into the bathroom for my night time ritual of washing my face and brushing my pearly whites. I brush my teeth first. As I finished, I cupped my hands under the cold water. I leaned down and sipped the water like an old cow at a water tank and then it hit me. Shit… did I wash my hands when I got home from all the bird shit that was smeared on them? Hmm.. I honestly didn’t remember. But I think that it was a strong, NOPE. HAHA..

yea a shitty day, in a nutshell.

Yo… It has been a minute

Back to the blog…I have been on a hiatus… Hiatus.. umm IT issue… errrrr Apple hates me…. You get it. My Ipad kept saying it needed an update.. But everytime I tried, the said Ipad would say, “Dang girl, you don’t have enough memory”. So days turned to weeks, weeks turned to oh screw it, then yikes, a year goes by, then a few more. So, time to get back to me, to writing. Ipad ditched, new Mac in pretty blue sits upon my lap smiling, whispering, “let’s go girl”. I have new ideas coming that have been spinning in my brain ever since my Ipad vetoed me. The saddest thing is that I had written a ton of stuff in an app that is no longer supported. BOOO.. All lost. I spent most of last night trying to recover on the new pretty blue Mac. Negative, nope, nada.. All for not. Buh Bye Writer app. So here we go. Let’s catch up.. The Stauff life has been interesting. Full of “what in the hell” and “WTF”. A touch of love, alot of laughs, a few tears. Yep, that thing they call life, that we all go through. That happened. Stay tuned, cause honestly…. I couldn’t make this shit up even if I tried. 😳

Jacque La Chat..Or Jake the cat

Jake has had lots of names.. he arrived on the scene here as ‘Dizzy’, then turned to ‘black balls’..for.. um..simple reasoning.. then came ‘Jake’, Then our friend from France came here, who connected with this cat like a long lost sibling, and it went to ‘Jacque La Chat’.. and trust me it is not pronounced the way you would think..so we stay with Jake.. I have been working at home on the ranch this week. Every morning a pretty little bird flies around the picture window as if he wanted in.. I would watch him and he would always settle for the hand railing next to the picture window. It would cock his head a hundred ways looking in the window, as if he was wanting to chat..it made me smile and happy to watch it. The kids would walk by and say “what a crazy bird”. I would laugh, “right?”..his hair stood straight upon the top of his head and he had pretty colors of cream all down his chest..anyway.. he visited me every am and sat on the railing checking out ‘the inside’. Fast forward to this am.. we had a bunch of rain last night and the air was nice and cool this am.. Sydney wanted out so I flung the sliding glass door open and left it open to get a little fresh air in. I was working away when I heard the blinds behind me shuffle around. I glanced back and didn’t see anything. It went back to peace and quiet with a few birds singing outside. I sat there for a few mins and pondered what I heard. I hollered for Sydney and she came walking by, looking like she just awoke and giving me her half dog smile. I got up and looked down at the blinds.. Jake had a 🐦 bird. “Jake!! You son of a bitch, drop it”. Sydney got interested with my raised voice, so she comes over and pokes her nose into it..Jake lets out his “rrrrrrrrrr”.. I said, “Jake, you are such an asshole..drop it”. Then Sydney figured out what was going on and then the race was on. Jake whipped his prize to the left as Sydney dove to the right, then to the right as Sydney dove to the left. This went on back and forth with me in the middle playing referee. I finally got them separated and Jake was in a corner still doing his, “rrrrrrrrrr”. I bend down to grab Jake and the bird to take them both outside. I looked at the poor bird, it was the same bird that had been stopping by every morning.. I laid into Jake again..”you son of a bitch, if you killed him you are kicked out”. I picked up Jake by his belly and ‘walked’ them outside. Sydney right on my heels. I went over to the edge of the deck and grabbed Jake by the scruff of his neck.. “let go you little bastard”, then by some grace he let go and the bird flew away..seemingly unscathed by the wanna be killer. Jake was all puffed up and ran under the deck chair on cue, maybe knowing an ass kicking was coming. Sydney was still looking around trying to figure out what had just happened.. my bird hasn’t been back since.. fricking Jacque La Chat..what an asshole..lol..

Camping 2017.. in the books

Most camping trips start out with lists.. we started out with one and then it went to hell crunched up into a ball the night before we left..Blah..who needs a list..right? The night had come that we ALL had been waiting for..VACATION.. time away from passwords, reports, working in general and most of all PEOPLE..I think that Sydney was even antsy for vacation to begin..The Stauff hauled in the camper from the ranch and we hauled in all our gear that we would need for our trek away. The night before The Stauff decides to check the battery to make sure it works.. We flick on the lights and no juice..tinker here and tinker there and still no juice.. The Stauff’s temper flares.. “We are not going on vacation..we are all working tomorrow”. I roll my eyes and kids find a safe place.. I grab my flashlight and go to following cords.. I think to myself..”seriously..it can’t be that hard”.. The Stauff sees me and comes and joins. More tinkering here and there and WAHLAH..lights turn on.. WHEW I sigh..One battle won.. The next AM we are all getting ready to go. I have to take my Jeep along as well as on the way home I have to hook a left onto the interstate and drive 3 hours for a work meeting the next day..(Keep this in mind..It becomes pivotable later in the story) So away we go..the boys in the pickup/camper and the girls/dog in the Jeep. Destination would be in about 4+ hours..We stop in Casper to get groceries and supplies..an hour later and checkbook depleted we leave. We stop along the way so Wyatt can fish a little and then locked in to the destination..Hog Park.. We get to Encampment and drop my Jeep off at my buddies house and we jump in with the boys, since we can only have one vehicle at our campsite. We unload the supplies into the Camper from the Jeep. The GPS says about 20 miles from here, but it is saying it will take an hour to get there.. Chad gives me a “Are you F’ing kidding me look”. I shrug my shoulders and say, “Seriously, come on, we are on vacation.. who cares”. Away we go, Lola our GPS showing us the way. We turn off the highway and start the climb into the mountains. We are instantly met with serious wash board roads.. We slow to a snails pace. Chad looks at me and says, “AH..I get why it will take us a damn hour to get there”. I take a deep sigh and think to myself, Lord, just get us there.. After about an hour we get up to about 8500 ft..Lola says “You have arrived at your destination”.. The only problem was there was nothing but trees and a road..no sign for Hog Park anywhere.. I started praying for anything.. a chipmunk. moose, bear, sunlight.. anything to point us in the way.. I say “well let’s turn around and go back down that other road where the sign showed the other campground was”.. Chad shot me look and found a spot to jockey the pickup and trailer around and we shot back down the road that said “Lakeview Campground”. We go about 3 miles and BOOM, there is the sign.. Hog Park Campground.. ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA why in thee same hell they would call the same campground 2 different names..Typical Government. We shoot in and go hunt our camp site down. We are site 46 right next to the lake.. We duck and weave our way and finally find our spot.. right next to the lake.. AHH Relaxation..I hadn’t even opened my door yet and this little pickup comes flying up beside us. “HI there” he shouts out, “I am the Camp host, you must be the Stauff’s”. I smile “Yep, that would be us”. He hollars from his pickup again, “Do you guys have water?” The Stauff says “No, we have some cans that we can haul it in with”. The Camp host says, “Come up to my trailer, I have a hose, you can fill up there”. Luckily we weren’t unhooked from the camper yet, so away we go.. The Stauff and I are filling up the Camper as the host is giving us the low down on the rules of the campground and such. He pauses and says “Do deer growl?”. I glanced up waiting for the punch line. I looked over at The Stauff who is smiling back at him and I knew he was waiting on the same.. a few awkward moments and finally The Stauff says, “Uh No, Deer don’t growl.. Why?”. The Host says “Hmm, I didn’t think they did, but I had something growling outside my camper last night.. I think to myself, “What in thee Sam Hell did I get ourselves into”. We finished up with the water and head back to our site.. I looked at The Stauff.. “WTF..growls by his camper???”. The Stauff just smiles and says, “I am pretty sure he was joking”. Needless to say I filled the kids on it just to be safe. We get back to the camper and the kids set off to the lake to fish and The Stauff and I start the process of setting up camp. The Stauff turns on the water pump to get the water primed and gets busy hooking everything up.. I am busy putting groceries away, sweeping and thoroughly enjoying our new home. The Stauff comes in and turns the water on. The faucet looks like a little boy peeing. I closed my eyes and said a few quick prayers.. The Stauff says, “Hmm that is weird. It doesn’t act like it is working. I will give it a few more minutes”. I get quite and I feel The Stauff’s temper is starting to shine..like the SHINING. After a bit our worse fear is true.. The water pump is shot.. The Stauff blows up. I tell him that it is no big deal. So the water doesn’t come from the faucet. Who gives a shit. The Stauff slams down to the couch and looks at me, “Well I don’t know about YOU, but I will need a shower in 5 days”. I bit my cheek and nicely said “Well..maybe you should just go jump in the lake”. He jumps up not seeing my humor and says “Well let’s turn the fridge on and see if that sum bitch works”. Then he calmed down a bit and went and laid down. I glanced over at the fridge and the light was blinking. there was a little sentence by the blinking light that said.”If blinking check propane”. I dropped my head, for the love of.. In two seconds I convinced myself I would not be the one to bring that one up to The Stauff. I was just hoping I wasn’t around when he did see it. But.. not such luck. The Bear..er I mean The Stauff gets up and checks the fridge and sees the blinking light. He growls, “Are you F’ing kidding me. What does this mean?”. I couldn’t resist, “Um I am not trying to be a smart ass, but it does say that if it is blinking to check the propane.” and I continued on doing what I was doing. The Stauff blows up again, “That’s it, we are done. We are packing it up and leaving tonight”. I spun around and looked at him “OMG…Are you shitting me?”. He stomps out to go check the propane. The blinking light goes off and the Fridge starts to HUM.. I smiled at him and said “Wow, don’t know what you did, but you made the fridge work!”. He growled, “I didn’t do anything”. I shrugged, “Well that must have worked”. The kids were out fishing and catching a ton of fish.. completely oblivious to the melt down that was going on in the camper..thankfully. We get supper, brush our teeth and head to bed. I prayed for a better day.. About 3 AM God showed me what the next was going to be like with a kick ass, heart stomping, blinding thunderstorm.. I was waiting for it to hail and pummel the pickup, but we were spared that. The next morning the temp is 43 degrees. The Stauff is looking for his new coffee pot he bought for the trip. He looks over at me and says, “Did you see that new coffee pot I got yesterday when you were unpacking. I closed my eyes..shitola..I didn’t see anything. I wimpered a little, “um, no actually I didn’t see anything”. THEN it hits him.. It was left in the Jeep an hour away..So.. no coffee for The Stauff, just the way he wanted to start off the day. I say “well we were going to go to the other mountains today anyway, we can stop and pick it up”. He grabs his ball cap and heads out the door. Ugh I thought.. I wish my broom worked..I would fly to get it. We packed up the cooler and thundered our way out.. fished all day and stopped by the Jeep to pick up the coffee pot.. We get back to our camper and I start making supper. The Stauff gathers up some wood for a fire after supper. Supper gets over and the fire is roaring.. Peace has settled into The Stauff family.. It wasn’t long after this peace found us that we heard a ear pearcing alarm going off. The Stauff looks at me “Do you hear that noise?”. I say, ” Yea, I wonder what the hell that is?”. The kids joke that it is a siren that we have to evacuate..The high pitched alarm keeps going off. I look at The Stauff and say, “You don’t suppose it is coming from our trailer?”. I get up and walk to the camper.. SURE ENOUGH.. There is an alarm going off in the camper. I looked at The Stauff who was just as bewildered as me. “WTF is that?” I said. He says “Must be something to do with the battery”. So he unhooks the battery and sure enough, the alarm quits. The Stauff says well I guess we don’t have electricity either.. I closed my eyes and let out a huge sigh.. I said “well what the hell.. it is bed time anyway. Don’t need lights to sleep”. We get up the next day and The Stauff says “let’s take that battery with us and we can charge it somewhere”. Great idea.. So we set out for adventure.. We stumble across some old Tie Hack cabins, a copper mine and prospector’s cabin. Some more cool old cabins. Took in the history of the area. Jay and I were in love. The boys were equally in love fishing the rivers around us. We found another road that led to Encampment. I tell The Stauff, “Oh, let’s try this road maybe it won’t be as rough and it is about the same mileage to town?”. What did i know? We head down this trek that turned into a nail biter road for those weak in the knees with heights. Straight drop off’s. Wyatt says at one point “oh look, there is a river down there”. I laughed and said “uh yea, it is really probably about a 1/4 mile wide, it just looks that little from way up here”. I about had a nervous break down.. The boys thoroughly enjoyed it. We managed to get a little charge in the battery and that night when we got home we hooked it back up. Lights!! WHOOP WHOOP. We go to bed… About 3 AM the alarm goes off.. The battery is dead…again.. I put my hands over the alarm and The Stauff jumps out of bed to disconnect the battery again..By this time, us girls are itching for a shower..The Camp host comes by one morning to check on us and says, “Ya should check out the natural springs, they have free showers and everything there”. Light bulbs shot on with Jay and I. When the Camp host left we pitched our idea to the boys, “let’s go to the Springs and then we can take showers”. The boys scoffed. The Stauff says, “I am really not that bad and BESIDES.. I am not taking a shower in front of everyone there.. They don’t have individual showers”. Dammit..the hot springs would have felt pretty nice at that point, sulfur or not. Luckily for us, he also knew that my buddy was gracious enough to come to her house and open it up for us to shower the next day and visit. So we waited till the next day to get our shower.. it all worked..The last day comes and Wyatt gets up at the crack of dawn to go fish his honey hole till we leave. He grabs his pole and I think to myself as he is walking away, “We should make a departure plan”. but I curled up and fell back to sleep. Later on we start packing up our life for the week. Jay was fishing and The Stauff and I were just lounging packing. Since we were never able to use our water in the tanks The Stauff says, “let’s drive over by the boat dock and let the water drain out for a bit”.  That we did. Jay and I get our camera’s out snapping the last few pictures of the lake and the surroundings.. still no Wyatt. The Stauff says, “You know he isn’t going to come to the camper right? He is going to lose track of time and he will still be there in his honey hole fishing”. I knew he was right. That kid has a fishing brain that thinks of nothing else, but fishing. We decide to go pick him up. Now to get to the honey hole you can either hike around the campground, which is what Wyatt did, or you could drive all the way around it, which we did. We go trucking down the road and The Stauff says, “I am just going to park alongside the road and walk in to get him”. It was about a 1/4 mile walk. The dog goes with him. Pretty soon The Stauff is walking back with no Wyatt. My stomach started to churn. The Stauff jumps in the pickup and says “He isn’t there. Maybe he is on the other side of the damn? Let’s drive in there and I will hike up the dam and see”. We do.. we drive in and Jay and I watch as The Stauff slowly becomes a little blue spot on top of the dam. I can see him looking all around..no Wyatt. I felt like I was going to throw up. Pretty soon The Stauff shows back up.. He is getting nervous. He jockeys the trailer around and we fly back up to the campground.  I told The Stauff, “Maybe he really is being responsible and he is waiting for us back where the camper was?” We maneuver around a corner and there he is packing his fishing pole and waders with a big grin on his face. Chad looks at me “Look at him grinning.. No worries in the world.. Geezus”. Wyatt opens the door and smiles, “Man I was kinda feeling like that kid on Home Alone”. He giggled. I told him to jump in the pickup and he realized that we were more than worried about him. I told him we aren’t mad, we were just really really scared something had happened. He says “oh ok, look at this picture I took this morning”. It was a track that looked like a wolf that took up half of wyatt’s foot sitting next to it.. I gulped. “Geezus”..and we went home..Me to my work and The Stauff, kids and dog back home. The trials and tribulations of camp life.. The next time we will do a more thorough check on items before we leave.. A list.. yea a list would be a good idea..TO FOLLOW.

Water in that creek..

Out checking water this am on the ranch I had to stop and wonder what Great Grandad and Grandad would 💭 think of a solar water well. All those years begging for 💨 wind to turn the mills for the thirsty critters on the ranch. Praying for rain to fill dams, creeks and rivers. Then a solar unit.. ☀️ sun is out..boom..water runs..I have a hankering that they would say, “well all be damned, would you look at that.” It actually still amazes me as well, since we still rely on a few of those wind mills they put together in the day. Sitting on top of the ridge smiling about all the times we worked to get water 💦 running for critters.  The one time where we had to pull the well and every joint that we pulled out dropped a pipe load of freezing cold water on us. Thankful it was 100 degrees out..but it kept you alert. The times where we would have to blow the slime and yuck out of the overflow line and usually ended up ingesting a little. Still occurs today. 🙄 or the spring that my Grandad hand dug. He pushed brown rock into the walls by hand to line it. That was his main source of water for his family at his homestead. To this day still has water in it and the pump still works.. when we have groups come stay with us I always lead them to that old pump. I have them sit underneath the spigget and pump water over their head, telling them that they have been baptized by the ranch. It is one thing that they always remember as the ranch has a way of soaking into your soul. A funny story about water is from Great Grandad..After Great Grandma had passed away, he was left to raise three kids by himself plus take care of the ranch. Grandad said that Great Grandad knew he needed help. He started writing a woman back east, a mail order bride.. he wrote letters in broken English of the kingdom he lived upon. He talked of the electricity he had..the running water he had..she fell for the German and all his letters.. she headed west. My Grandad took the wagon and headed to the train station to pick her up. He brought her home and things went south quick. As she glanced around her new surroundings she asked Great Grandad “where is the electricity?” Great Grandad said in his German twist, “the vindmill outside”. She asked “where is the running water you said you had?”. He said “the creek runs by”. Grandad would always chuckle telling that story saying in the end she only lasted a few weeks. She packed her things, had Grandad take her back to the train and she headed back east. I guess she wasn’t impressed with that running water..but I will tell you on a hot day like today, there would be plenty impressed with that running water today.

Just to be home..

Oh to be home… what started off as a fun trip home.. sucked..stay put…I had myself all worked up about the hwy north..I usually worry more about the other yahoos on the road..so we can take a dirt road all the way home..I told the kids let’s take that road home..away we go..snowing right along..we get to the end of that road jump across the highway to the other dirt road.. it is dark now..away we go..I am going about 30 -35 mph..I drive down into a draw, come up the top and there is an auto gate on top, I try to turn and I just slid right into the auto gate..busted my rear fender off..wyatt jumps out and gathers the pieces and we throw them in the back.. I say some choice words and away we go..I put it back into 4×4..away we go all a little freaked out from the accident and then I look around.. I say “where in the hell are we?” The kids are quiet.. again choice words fly from my mouth.. start back tracking..find the road we should have turned on..away we go..we start to go around a hill..snow flies up over the hood and covers the window..can’t see a thing..I reluctantly slow and I can feel the jeep sink..more profound words come out..I opened my door to survey my situation..I pushed snow when I open the door.. wyatt and I start digging..then I told him to get in..this is a jeep right? 4 low, 1,2,3.. boom we are out..continue on..now before anyone asks “why the hell did you go?” I will say this to my defense.. “I have NO ever mother loving idea”…when we hit the ranch auto gate I told the kids “holy shit, when I get home I am going to have a drink”. Wyatt says “when I get home, I am going to help unload the jeep, start a fire downstairs and have some whiskey”. Jay says “I wonder what crown and hot cocoa tastes like?” I glanced at her, “I would assume like shit..but at this stage of the game what the hell give it a whirl”… O M G.. WTH??? Home safe and sound and my guardian angel is ordering shots..😳😳😇🤔

Bring your pet to town day????

Trip to rapid was ummmm…interesting..we roll into town and see a naked dude in the cat tails behind running..us ‘country kids’ make a loop to verify such findings..thankfully he had a coat on by the time we came back around..we go to Cabellas.. some guy has a big ass Doberman that he is shopping with.. we all were like wow.. then walk to the other side of the store, there is a German Shorthair walking around with their owner.. again we are like wow.. off to Scheels..a girl is packing around the cutest 8 week old silver lab..for sale she says.. I relented..but it was cute.. and then boom here is the Doberman dude again.. I look at jay..that is crazy..boys and girls split up.. jay an I just started strolling down all the stores. We end up in Micheals.the good ole craft store.. we are in line waiting to be checked out. I glance around at people and this dude catches my eye.. I was trying to figure out what he had wrapped around his neck. It looked like a black rope..about then the ‘rope’ slithered over his shoulder.. I looked at jay and said “that guy over there has a live snake wrapped around his neck”. Her mouth fell open and fumbled for her phone to capture the moment.. then I looked at the chick beside him. She had a damn lizard on her chest..WTH is up with that shit?? I looked at jay and said “I almost kind feel bad we missed bring your pet to town day, poor Sydney”..lol.. 🐶🐍🦎🤔🤔