Tag: ranch

Round 1 of 2023

Posted on by onlyinastauffworld

Round 1 in the books.. the meeting.. this am about 3:00 the hound did her usual shake of her collar as a wake up to let her out.. half asleep, rubbing my eyes I stumbled to the door. I flipped the light on as I know theses creatures are out there and give it a few seconds.. a routine that I do every night. Then I slowly open the door.. scan the area and then allow the hound out. I did the same last night.. I see no masked creatures lurking so I flung the door open to release the hound. In about 2.5 seconds about 8 raccoons peaked out behind bushes and chairs. I shouted foul words and the hound launched out the door. She didn’t know which way to run as the fur balls were running every which way. I spotted the mother standing at the end of the sidewalk with a little one as if she was squaring me down.. I glanced around for the hound. Her hair is standing on end on her ass like a Little kids Mohawk.. she comes flying by me barking a storm and spun on a heel when she saw the momma.. she takes in after her. Me screaming at the hound to retreat, cause I mean come on, she is a lap dog. She would have zero clue in that situation.. no luck.. me, barefoot and tshirt jump out and start running over to capture the hound..the mama coon is holding her ground on top of a chair growling and swatting.. all I could think of was, “well shit, guess I get to go see my favorite vet tomorrow as that bitch is going to tear into that hound.” The Hound dives in at her and the mama coon jumps at her growling and I about passed out. She runs off between the pickups and for whatever reason the hound must have thought she ran off so she spins again and runs back to the yard. I look at the mama coon still standing between the pickups. Staring me down as I hear her family trying to crawl out of pickup beds and off of cabs. I say, “wtf you looking at?” And.. then.. that bitch threw hands at me and ran off. My mouth dropped and my blood boiled. “you seriously just threw hands at me? What a bitch”. So I turn back to the hound still acting like she is on crack losing what is left of her mind. I grab her collar, “get in killer, we done”. So we head back to bed. I thought she jumped back onto bed as she normally does. I hooked a right to get a drink of water to calm the nerves before I shot back to bed. Lights out, I start walking, then I step on the hounds back leg, then jump to step on her side, jump off and fell into the side of the bed. I grumbled and cussed all the way to the floor. I end up on top of the hound. “Wtf are you doing on the floor? Geezus H Christ all mighty”. So I picked myself up off the hound and crawled in from the bottom of the bed. The damn hound growled all night.. and now.. door open is barking her fool head off. Traps will be out tonight.. no bitch gets to throw hands like that and walk away unscathed.. or does she… hahaha..

A late night of chase

Posted on by onlyinastauffworld

Had a request for a ranch story.. here ya go..

Last night I didn’t get home till about 10:30.. long day of everything.. ahh homebound finally… I drive past the corrals heading to our house and notice the bovines are all camped around the corrals… now this isn’t unusal…but… this summer those damn calves have tested us… so… I decide to run through the yard to just make sure all is well. XM in Black Betty is blasting 80’s on 8…all looks well until I make the turn pointing the lights into another pen..lots of little eyes staring back at me. What the.. what the hell.. I studied the situation. Mamas all camped outside of the corrals and damn near all the babies inside the corrals. How? I squinted and stared. I instinctively get out to see what I can do.. in the glow of Black Betty’s lights. Bawling bovines cover up Rick Springsteen blaring out of Black Betty. I step out onto the ground and my flip flops slide into the mud from a fresh rain. My nice dress pants soaking up the water. Frig… the cows blinded by the lights see my shadow in front of them that now looks about 200 feet high in front of them. They all jump up and come at me. tails in the air. Shit. I should have rethought this… but… all cows now out of the way and me unscathed… but, needless to say all the calves also turned tail and ran the other way. Rewind to this summer The Stauff decided to rebuild a wall in our corrals… the one that leads out to our meadow… long story short the welder died so we are regrouping and no finished fence yet. This pen is the same pen all the calves ran to. So, me in my flip-flops go tromping through the weeds searching for these little bastards. As I get further away from the lights my brain says.. “hey, you suppose snakes are out?”. Every ounce of my being froze. Oh my geezus I thought, what the hell am I doing. My other part of my brain tossed it aside and said “walk taller”. Whatever..So I did. I slowly walked in praying that the calves were still around. I saw a few shadows making rounds. I softly haw’ed them..until I knew I was behind them, then the haw got louder. pretty soon they spun on a heel and took off to their mamas.. I looked around.. nothing more lurking. Whoop.. I was ecstatic that A) the calves got out and B) I hadn’t been bitten by a snake yet. So I go back to the first pen. I glance up at the light beams blinding me.. At the same time one of the mama’s starts coming towards me on a mission. Now she looked 200 feet to me. I haw’ed and threw hands the best I could and she just stood there looking at me. I looked at her and figured out she was missing her child still… I say, “look.. I will go look again.. but that sum bitch could be in the meadow in which case you two will catch up tomorrow”. I haw’d her back far enough I could run check the pen without her coming after me and then her getting into the meadow..I was in stealth mode.. nothing.. fuuuuggggg.. something caught my eye in another pen. Ahaha.. I looked back at mama and made a run for the calf.. we squared off in an accompanying pen.. SteveO.. now this is the wild child that was in the basement with me when he was born.. all grown up and this little bastard gives zero shits.. he will get into trouble just cause he can.. so again.. real slow and I walk him out of the pen and into the pen open to the meadow.. he sees his mama and kicks his feet and blows out. I finally get back to Black Betty with mud covering me.. mud splatterd on my face from the calves flying past me.. I shut all the gates and listen to nothing. Calves are all sucking getting a late supper and cows are content. I hollered at them, “you are all welcome”.. now to get all the mud, cow shit and green weed stains out of my work pants. Oh and I fixed the hole in the fence tonight while SteveO was standing in the middle of it. bastards..

A shitty day in a nutshell

Posted on by onlyinastauffworld

Last night coming home I reflected on how many shitty turns the day had gifted me with. I pull up to the mailbox blankly and rolled my window down. I glanced up to the sky to see heaven itself a touch closer as the coolness of the night rushed over me.. “ahh” I thought, the fresh air feels good. I back up and continue my trek home with the window down. I turned up the XM radio a bit blasting the best of the 80’s and rested my elbow on the window seal. About home I see a bird fly up over the hood.. “Aw boy, you just made it fella” I whispered to myself. About that time I felt something warm that then turned cold on my elbow. I think to myself. “WTF is that?” I touch it… sure enough. That bird shit on my elbow as it was getting some height to fly away.. I sat there.. with slick bird shit now smeared on my hands, my tshirt and now the seal of the window.. no napkin handy, I wipe the birdshit on the bottom of my jeans..I laughed as I pulled up to the house.. what are the odds. A clear definition of a shitty day..

BUT.. then… I got busy letting my hound out to bark and carry on, brought in all the groceries, putting things away, etc. Everything set, I say, “I am going to bed, screw it”. I wander into the bathroom for my night time ritual of washing my face and brushing my pearly whites. I brush my teeth first. As I finished, I cupped my hands under the cold water. I leaned down and sipped the water like an old cow at a water tank and then it hit me. Shit… did I wash my hands when I got home from all the bird shit that was smeared on them? Hmm.. I honestly didn’t remember. But I think that it was a strong, NOPE. HAHA..

yea a shitty day, in a nutshell.

Yo… It has been a minute

Posted on by onlyinastauffworld

Back to the blog…I have been on a hiatus… Hiatus.. umm IT issue… errrrr Apple hates me…. You get it. My Ipad kept saying it needed an update.. But everytime I tried, the said Ipad would say, “Dang girl, you don’t have enough memory”. So days turned to weeks, weeks turned to oh screw it, then yikes, a year goes by, then a few more. So, time to get back to me, to writing. Ipad ditched, new Mac in pretty blue sits upon my lap smiling, whispering, “let’s go girl”. I have new ideas coming that have been spinning in my brain ever since my Ipad vetoed me. The saddest thing is that I had written a ton of stuff in an app that is no longer supported. BOOO.. All lost. I spent most of last night trying to recover on the new pretty blue Mac. Negative, nope, nada.. All for not. Buh Bye Writer app. So here we go. Let’s catch up.. The Stauff life has been interesting. Full of “what in the hell” and “WTF”. A touch of love, alot of laughs, a few tears. Yep, that thing they call life, that we all go through. That happened. Stay tuned, cause honestly…. I couldn’t make this shit up even if I tried. 😳

Jacque La Chat..Or Jake the cat

Posted on by onlyinastauffworld

Jake has had lots of names.. he arrived on the scene here as ‘Dizzy’, then turned to ‘black balls’..for.. um..simple reasoning.. then came ‘Jake’, Then our friend from France came here, who connected with this cat like a long lost sibling, and it went to ‘Jacque La Chat’.. and trust me it is not pronounced the way you would think..so we stay with Jake.. I have been working at home on the ranch this week. Every morning a pretty little bird flies around the picture window as if he wanted in.. I would watch him and he would always settle for the hand railing next to the picture window. It would cock his head a hundred ways looking in the window, as if he was wanting to chat..it made me smile and happy to watch it. The kids would walk by and say “what a crazy bird”. I would laugh, “right?”..his hair stood straight upon the top of his head and he had pretty colors of cream all down his chest..anyway.. he visited me every am and sat on the railing checking out ‘the inside’. Fast forward to this am.. we had a bunch of rain last night and the air was nice and cool this am.. Sydney wanted out so I flung the sliding glass door open and left it open to get a little fresh air in. I was working away when I heard the blinds behind me shuffle around. I glanced back and didn’t see anything. It went back to peace and quiet with a few birds singing outside. I sat there for a few mins and pondered what I heard. I hollered for Sydney and she came walking by, looking like she just awoke and giving me her half dog smile. I got up and looked down at the blinds.. Jake had a 🐦 bird. “Jake!! You son of a bitch, drop it”. Sydney got interested with my raised voice, so she comes over and pokes her nose into it..Jake lets out his “rrrrrrrrrr”.. I said, “Jake, you are such an asshole..drop it”. Then Sydney figured out what was going on and then the race was on. Jake whipped his prize to the left as Sydney dove to the right, then to the right as Sydney dove to the left. This went on back and forth with me in the middle playing referee. I finally got them separated and Jake was in a corner still doing his, “rrrrrrrrrr”. I bend down to grab Jake and the bird to take them both outside. I looked at the poor bird, it was the same bird that had been stopping by every morning.. I laid into Jake again..”you son of a bitch, if you killed him you are kicked out”. I picked up Jake by his belly and ‘walked’ them outside. Sydney right on my heels. I went over to the edge of the deck and grabbed Jake by the scruff of his neck.. “let go you little bastard”, then by some grace he let go and the bird flew away..seemingly unscathed by the wanna be killer. Jake was all puffed up and ran under the deck chair on cue, maybe knowing an ass kicking was coming. Sydney was still looking around trying to figure out what had just happened.. my bird hasn’t been back since.. fricking Jacque La Chat..what an asshole..lol..

Water in that creek..

Posted on by onlyinastauffworld

Out checking water this am on the ranch I had to stop and wonder what Great Grandad and Grandad would 💭 think of a solar water well. All those years begging for 💨 wind to turn the mills for the thirsty critters on the ranch. Praying for rain to fill dams, creeks and rivers. Then a solar unit.. ☀️ sun is out..boom..water runs..I have a hankering that they would say, “well all be damned, would you look at that.” It actually still amazes me as well, since we still rely on a few of those wind mills they put together in the day. Sitting on top of the ridge smiling about all the times we worked to get water 💦 running for critters.  The one time where we had to pull the well and every joint that we pulled out dropped a pipe load of freezing cold water on us. Thankful it was 100 degrees out..but it kept you alert. The times where we would have to blow the slime and yuck out of the overflow line and usually ended up ingesting a little. Still occurs today. 🙄 or the spring that my Grandad hand dug. He pushed brown rock into the walls by hand to line it. That was his main source of water for his family at his homestead. To this day still has water in it and the pump still works.. when we have groups come stay with us I always lead them to that old pump. I have them sit underneath the spigget and pump water over their head, telling them that they have been baptized by the ranch. It is one thing that they always remember as the ranch has a way of soaking into your soul. A funny story about water is from Great Grandad..After Great Grandma had passed away, he was left to raise three kids by himself plus take care of the ranch. Grandad said that Great Grandad knew he needed help. He started writing a woman back east, a mail order bride.. he wrote letters in broken English of the kingdom he lived upon. He talked of the electricity he had..the running water he had..she fell for the German and all his letters.. she headed west. My Grandad took the wagon and headed to the train station to pick her up. He brought her home and things went south quick. As she glanced around her new surroundings she asked Great Grandad “where is the electricity?” Great Grandad said in his German twist, “the vindmill outside”. She asked “where is the running water you said you had?”. He said “the creek runs by”. Grandad would always chuckle telling that story saying in the end she only lasted a few weeks. She packed her things, had Grandad take her back to the train and she headed back east. I guess she wasn’t impressed with that running water..but I will tell you on a hot day like today, there would be plenty impressed with that running water today.

I come from a long line..

Posted on by onlyinastauffworld

My first Sunday night at the ranch this summer.. ahh how I love thee. We had a paleo tour today with a great family who was interested in the history.. the history..it is what builds me, my kids and links me to generations I never was able to meet. The history..the stories connect me to my grandpa and my Dad. Their stories echo through my soul keeping them alive..keeping me alive.. the ranch grounds me..it feeds me..as I was re telling some of the good stories today it hit me that I should write them down. Novel idea with a handy blog at my finger tips? 🙄 the biggest question is..”is it history? Is it stories? Or is it just interpretation of both?” I think a combination of all.. my Dad had almost 6 months to live when I came home to the ranch. There were nights that turned to daylight as Dad told me stories after stories. Maybe it was his way of reciting his memoirs. I recorded each one in my memory. I always say that his stories were life stamped into me..I remember everything about them. His chuckle on the funny ones, the deep lines that that formed around his eyes on the hard ones and the look over his glasses when it was something to especially pay attention to. Those memories along with the previous 20 years with Grandad and Dad made me whom I am today..and thankful for it.  The first story is how it all began.. a teacher and a cowboy..the ultimate love story.. Great Granpdad rode round up for a big cattle company in the late 1800’s.. My Great Grandma was a single teacher that moved out west to teach.. she signed up for a homestead..there was no fence in those days.. everything was open. Great Grandad was pushing cattle through the country and met my Great Grandma. They eventually married and started to build the ranch together. Great Grandma kept teaching.. as three children were born into the family she would take the kids with her and they would live at the school house together. Great Grandad stayed on at the ranch and worked on their dream. One day mid February of 1926 she was chopping wood for her school. She accidentally cut her leg with the ax..she went to the Doctor to get it taken care of..gangrene set in..they had to take part of her leg off..the infection kept spreading until February 28, 1926 she passed away at 38 years old..leaving my Great Grandad with three little kids, their ranch and a heart ache he would never get over. My Grandad, the oldest, was 16.

Rattlesnake meets Jeep tire..

Posted on by onlyinastauffworld

Night at the ranch..kids want to go look for porcupines tonight.. we wait for the dark and head out..I fore told the story before we left.. 1) it is still really windy..2) we will not see anything because of #1.. we head out..we see rabbits and a kitten..no pines..right below the house coming home what do our blood shot eyes see? A rattlesnake slithering across the road..I tell the kids to give me a light so I can survey the critter I am about to rip apart. Kinda big, probably 5 rattles.. Magee slides to my side of the jeep. He says “I will hold the light for you, so you can get the tire square on him”.. we jockey a bit and squish him..back up..survey..still not good enough..jay says, “come on, peel out on it”.. I get lined up again to peel out on the thing. Magee is holding a light out the passenger window so we can keep track of it. I get ready..peel out..we hear the famous ‘pop’..Magee immediately starts hollering, “AHHH..I got snake guts on my arm.. Ah Ah… bleh bleh.. I think I am going to throw up..bleh bleh..omg..I can’t believe it’s guts blew up like that.. I need a shower..omg..” jay and I are dying laughing.. 😂..we inspect our kill.. definitely dead and we saved the rattles.. Magee is still in panic mode that he has 🐍 snake guts on him.. then he gets quite..”oh, I guess it wasn’t snake guts..I think it was just the rain”.. jay and I look at each other bust up laughing.. I glanced back and said “rain? Are you sure?”.. he said “yeah when I put my arm out I think rain drops landed on my arm at the same time as the ‘pop’ happened”. I am good..😂😂😂😂.. pine =0 .. rattlesnake (including the one the kids killed earlier this afternoon) = 2…😆

Home…Alas…

Posted on by onlyinastauffworld

So after a long week in town..all tracks meet cancelled we finally get to head home Friday night.. lots of rain made the road more interesting, sloppy and 4 wheel drive Jeep commercial for the last couple miles..but home just the same..The Stauff ran downstairs to start a roaring 🔥 fire downstairs while the kids and I unloaded the jeep. There is a high pitched noise coming from the office.. the electricity must have gone out and kicked the surge protector out.. I shut it off and I get busy with supper..keep in mind the surge protector has internet life plugged into it.. no surge protector turned on..no internet..jay wanders through the kitchen and casually says, “so…there is no internet?”. I tell her, “why, yes you are correct, the surge protector must have died”. She gets a far away look in her eyes and mumbles, “oh ok”. .. I smile and say, “well weekend with no internet, we are set”. I laughed a little too long about it. She didn’t see my humor. I get supper on the table.. Friday night 🌮 tacos.. a staple..we eat and the kids do dishes.. The Stauff looks at me and says, “kinda chilly in here isn’t it?”. I agreed.. he went to turn the furnace up as we have it set to be lower during the week. He turns it up..nothing.. he wanders to the furnace..pretty soon we hear The Stauff holler from the furnace room, “hey, I need my phone and a screw driver, could someone grab that?”. My brain spins, “what the hell is he doing with his phone?”. I decided to stay mum and watch..he grabs his phone and uses the flashlight..aha I thought, smart in his old age.. jay wandered past me looking to be in a coma state..she says, “we really wont have internet this weekend?” I glanced at her and gave her the ‘look’, “I guess it depends on how my mood develops”. Wyatt interjects, “well you know if it is just the surge protector, we do have a new ☝️ one. You could just change it out”. I looked at ‘Einstein’ and said “yes you are correct, but you would have to move the whole desk and shelving to unplug it..not sure I want to tackle that tonight”. They both hunched their shoulders and staggered to the couch..pretty soon the furnace dr comes out with an internal organ of the furnace…”no heat tonight..when the electricity went out it must have fried this piece. Will have to go to town & try to find this to fix it”. He smiled at me and said, “warm downstairs”.. I have been dreaming of my bed all week.. I say, “come on Stauff, we will just throw a couple more blankets on..it will be like ⛺️ camping”… we both laughed and glanced at both kids not looking happy.. jay is so fidgety 😬 she looks like an addict needing their cocaine fix and Wyatt is just sitting there staring at his 🎣 fishing pole. I laugh, “oh me, really?? We are both moping cause there is no internet?”. Wyatt just sits there, but Jay starts. “Do you know what is going on tonight?”. I say, “ummmm, no I guess I don’t? What is going on?” She stares at me, “it is the NFL draft!! How am I supposed to know where all the Oklahoma Sooners are going to? Mixon??? Perine???” I laughed and was like “well, we have TV? I am sure it is on ESPN, I would go watch it on TV?” I get a tiny eye roll..”Mom.. I doubt it is on local TV”. I sat there and closed my eyes..now my sweet 13 year old tomboy knows her shit with the Sooners.. she can spit stats, who the players are, what position they play, what year of school they are in, what they are majoring in AND who is going to the draft… but she thinks ESPN is a local channel..I looked over at The Stauff and he is just smiling at me.. I get up and go reboot the surge protector and didn’t say a word. I grabbed my iPad and all the notifications started coming in.. they both perked up.. Wyatt said, “how is yours working?”.. I thought about coming up with some wild story, but honestly I was cold and just admitted that I fixed the surge protector and internet had been restored.. they both whipped out their phones like six shooters..I went and turned ESPN on in our room curled up with blankets and watched the highlights of the 2nd round draft picks.. jay joined..I think half ass amazed on this new ‘local’ channel..we finally went to bed and about 4:30 this AM The Stauff gets called in to work.. he heads out the door 🚪 to bog out the muddy path and smiles, “I will get you your furnace part on my way 🏡 home. So..no heat upstairs and the internet is spinning..oh to be home..

Just to be home..

Posted on by onlyinastauffworld

Oh to be home… what started off as a fun trip home.. sucked..stay put…I had myself all worked up about the hwy north..I usually worry more about the other yahoos on the road..so we can take a dirt road all the way home..I told the kids let’s take that road home..away we go..snowing right along..we get to the end of that road jump across the highway to the other dirt road.. it is dark now..away we go..I am going about 30 -35 mph..I drive down into a draw, come up the top and there is an auto gate on top, I try to turn and I just slid right into the auto gate..busted my rear fender off..wyatt jumps out and gathers the pieces and we throw them in the back.. I say some choice words and away we go..I put it back into 4×4..away we go all a little freaked out from the accident and then I look around.. I say “where in the hell are we?” The kids are quiet.. again choice words fly from my mouth.. start back tracking..find the road we should have turned on..away we go..we start to go around a hill..snow flies up over the hood and covers the window..can’t see a thing..I reluctantly slow and I can feel the jeep sink..more profound words come out..I opened my door to survey my situation..I pushed snow when I open the door.. wyatt and I start digging..then I told him to get in..this is a jeep right? 4 low, 1,2,3.. boom we are out..continue on..now before anyone asks “why the hell did you go?” I will say this to my defense.. “I have NO ever mother loving idea”…when we hit the ranch auto gate I told the kids “holy shit, when I get home I am going to have a drink”. Wyatt says “when I get home, I am going to help unload the jeep, start a fire downstairs and have some whiskey”. Jay says “I wonder what crown and hot cocoa tastes like?” I glanced at her, “I would assume like shit..but at this stage of the game what the hell give it a whirl”… O M G.. WTH??? Home safe and sound and my guardian angel is ordering shots..😳😳😇🤔